Singles and Their Stinkin’ Thinkin’

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Singles and Their Stinkin’ Thinkin’

by: Elizabeth Lewis

Life Coach/Relationship Coach/Author/Speaker

http://www.loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com

 

As a Life Coach/Relationship Coach, I am a professed love-a-holic…. I LOVE love! Even though I can coach most any client (any age or category) ready to move forward in life, I work a lot with singles. Mostly “Next” time around singles…. meaning divorced, widowed, or even a little older and never married. After talking with singles for 7 years, coaching for 4 years, authoring a book about dating the “Next” time around, I’ve seen the following patterns/MYTHS in singles’ stinkin’ thinkin’. (So listen up singles and STOP having these limiting beliefs!!)

 

  1. “There are no more good men (women) out there.”

Singles are STILL saying this AND the worst part is they believe it to be true. It’s NOT true. Good men (and women) are everywhere…. God gives them to us every day and we get the free will to choose them or not. You have to BELIEVE they are everywhere and then guess what? You’ll actually start SEEING them everywhere.

  1. “I’m not _____ enough.” (Thin enough, young enough, pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, etc.)

If you look around at all the couples out there, you’ll find MANY that are NOT thin, not so young, live paycheck to paycheck and/or don’t have a college degree or even are not very pretty/handsome. If you don’t think you’re “enough” then that is the vibe you’re putting out there and it escapes through the energy of who you are. You might say, “I try to be positive,” and you might occasionally say a positive thing or two (like it’ll happen in God’s time) but if you examine the comments you say out loud to your other single friends, it’s usually not that positive (and you’d like to believe that God will bring him/her to you but the bible doesn’t tell us He’ll bring that special someone to us. All we can do is be/become the right person and the person we are looking for will appear BUT with free will, we STILL get to choose them or not). Remember, good men/women are actually everywhere.

  1. “Online dating stinks and just doesn’t work!”

If you’re online and are actually meeting people (I call these “meet-and-greets”), then you’re having a SUCCESSFUL time with online dating. Online dating ‘success’ doesn’t mean you go online and find “the one” in the amount of time you are subscribed. Success means using it as the introduction service that is is to actually meet singles (in real life) you would not otherwise meet. Just as you might go to a party and meet 10 new “friends” and maybe like 1-2 of them. Going online shows you thousands of singles in your age group and area, and you might find 1-2 you’d like to explore more. AND if you only try it for a few months, that’s not long enough to give it a full try. That’s like saying, “I went to 2-3 parties and didn’t find the one so I’m not going to go to any more parties. Going to parties just didn’t work.”

 

  1. “The people on online dating sites are liars.”

Yes, you will see people online lying about their age and/or pictures… BUT… that is not online dating’s fault. It’s a human behavior problem. HUMANS lie. Dating sites don’t. People lacking confidence in who they are (believing they are ‘not enough’) choose to lie. The dating site doesn’t encourage them to lie. Also, you could go to all your offline places and find the same number of liars and cheaters. So again, it’s not the dating site’s fault. Dating sites are a GREAT way to meet new people who are also ready to love again. (Not the ONLY way but one way). ** If you have not had luck doing this, I CAN help you with this! **

 

  1. I’ve heard that Tinder is just a “hook-up” app.

 

Tinder does have the reputation of being a hook-up app. You’ll find players, marrieds, people looking for a three-some AND people wanting a forever love. Can you also find these with the paid dating sites? Or at a bar? Or even at a church? You can. I look at Tinder (and other apps like this) as yet another way to meet people you would not otherwise meet. The men (and women) who want sex only will very quickly let you know through messaging each other, that that’s what they’re looking for. If that is not a match for you, you simply ‘unmatch’ them. I suggest you try Bumble. It’s similar, but the women have to message first within 24 hours (or the match goes away) and the man has to respond in 24 hours, or it goes away.

 

  1. “I give up! I’ve been single ___ years. If it hasn’t happened by now, it never will.” (Ever said or heard this one?)

LISTEN, folks…. Society’s pressure of being ‘married to be worthy’ is an unspoken pressure. No one says it out loud but it’s heard by questions such as, “Why hasn’t someone snatched you up yet?” OR “Why are you still single? You are pretty and seem like a quality woman?” OR “You’ve been single how long? Why have you never remarried?” OR “You’re 50 and have never been married?” Sound familiar? There is judgment in the question! Singles do NOT like these questions because it adds to the unworthy feelings they are already having. Just because you have been single 10 yrs., 15 yrs., even 20+ yrs. does NOT mean it won’t happen and it especially doesn’t mean you’re not good enough! SOCIETY applies this pressure and singles also apply to it to others in the single’s world. Let me give a recent, personal example. I have had people say, “Elizabeth’s a relationship coach and hasn’t married anyone yet? What does she know about dating and finding love?” (Implying that I’m not worthy or how can I be a good coach or know what I’m talking about). Actually, I DID have an amazing love (who died on 9/11/05) and if I never love again, I was lucky to have had that kind of love. Now, I could believe I’m a no good coach or person or unworthy of love and spiral down to that negative, “There must be something wrong with me” place OR I could know the truth about me… that I’m a total catch, have LOTS of love to give the right man who is ready, am an amazing God-fearing, loyal high-quality woman who is totally worthy (and I have a strong belief that it WILL happen and have no doubts about it.) Just maybe not by society’s unspoken standard. (It’s also possible to be a couples therapist and not be married and a single minister can also counsel married couples, etc.) So, stop judging about your not married/remarried friends. (My book covers MANY reasons why this can be an issue the “next” time around).

 

  1. “I don’t NEED a Life Coach/Relationship Coach to help me date or with my life.”

You might not… BUT …. I believe everyone needs a therapist and a life coach. Me included. I have both. If one is available to you (there are many of us out there) and you’d like to learn a new way of thinking about dating/life that might move you to a more forward/positive place, why not give it a try? What if you can’t afford it? Save your money! It’ll be worth it and add value to your life if you have even ONE of the above limiting beliefs. (If you would like to use ME as your Life Coach/Relationship Coach, you can find my rates (and all the things/classes/coaching that I offer) at www.loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com).  If you choose to not hire a Life Coach/Relationship Coach, surround yourself with POSITIVE people who support your efforts in dating and life and won’t bring you down with negative talk about the process. You ARE worthy of love and if you BELIEVE it’ll happen — it WILL!!

There are many other MYTHS in the dating world… I just picked a few that I hear most often. There are many perspectives around different ways to date, sex, how to best communicate off and online, do’s and don’t’s and pros and cons of online dating, etc….. I’d be happy to share more with you either by reading my book or having a 15 min. FREE consultation to see if we are a good fit for each other. (No pressure to hire me). ** I also coach married men/women, and all ages. Life Coaching is about helping people move forward in LIFE!**

 

The book link on Amazon (where you can also read some great reviews and preview my book) is

https://www.amazon.com/First-Date-Next-Mate-Perspectives/dp/1535600977

To schedule a FREE 15 min. consultation, click here.

https://calendly.com/elizabeth-loveandlaughter

 

I LOVE people, LOVE my clients and LOVE love….. I’m here to help you stop this Stinkin’ Thinkin’.

 

** For my married friends…. I still have a group called Connecting Couples. This fall I’d like to start a Monthly Marriage Mentoring Class. I’d love to get couples who are doing GREAT… and keep them GREAT so they don’t end up in my single’s class…. Stay tuned!

 

Feel free to contact me via Facebook https://www.facebook.com/loveandlaughterlifecoaching/ or through email Elizabeth.loveandlaughter@gmail.com

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Why are Christians Sometimes So Mean?

By: Elizabeth Lewis

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The word “Christian” is used a lot. What does it really mean when we say we are a “Christian” nation? I see mean posts on Facebook…. written by Christians. I hear gossip everywhere… spoken by Christians. A step further, I witness Christian friends (who just left church) ‘hearing’ gossip about someone, believing it as truth, then treat that victim of gossip differently. Shunned. Or worse, the gossip is repeated to others without verification. Reputations tarnished. Hurt feelings. Friendships broken. All to find out everyone is believing something that isn’t even true….. spoken and spread by Christians.

 

I see Christians taking sides politically – bashing different opinions than our own. I’ve seen people unfriending those who actually think differently than they….believing your side is right and theirs is wrong. I see sexual infidelity (both in and outside of marriages) – over half of America is divorced. Then lots of bashing language around someone they used to love so much. I see hate crimes, prejudice, judgments about anyone but ourselves. Yes, all done by “Christians.” I could go on and I know you also have your own list of the mean things “Christians” do and say… you might see yourself in this list… I’ve been guilty of a few listed here (gossip), myself. It’s easy to get caught up in gossip. Where is Jesus in these moments? Why do we so quickly forget the way we are asked (by God) to respond?

 

Yes, we all fall short and sin… daily. Yes, we all need grace… but do we just keep going to church on Sunday and then keep repeating the same sins over and over again? We think that just because God will give us grace, (and He will), that gives us permission to act and speak as mean as we want. We ARE granted grace, but there ARE consequences to our behaviors. How can we keep each other more accountable?

 

Because this blog is about being MEAN…. not all the other sins out there…. wouldn’t you agree that we ALL have the ability to be kind or mean? No matter our age? Do you wonder, why can’t everyone just be kind? I can expect a 3rd grader (the age I used to teach) to not always be kind but the older we get, aren’t we supposed to get better at being kind and not worse? Even 1st graders are taught kindness….didn’t you teach your kids to be kind? Kids know how to be mean or kind, too, and can make the same choices we do. But we, as adults, have experience and wisdom!

 

The Bible says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Col. 3:12-14).

 

My favorite is 1 Corinthians 13 the “love” chapter. Love is patient, kind, not rude or easily angered or jealous….always protects…

 

My next favorite is the Fruit of the Spirit… Galatians 5:22-23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

 

Gary Thomas said, “If you are arrogant, harsh, impatient, unkind, and judgmental instead of compassionate, patient and gentle, you are not acting as one of “God’s chosen people” regardless of how many graduate degrees you have, how many Bible verses you know, how many books you have published, how big your church, organization, or social media impact is or even how well you control yourself sexually. It doesn’t even matter if you are “right” on the issue if you are acting in a wrong manner. You’re adding to the overall problem rather than being part of the solution.”

 

“One of the greatest temptations to be mean, of course, is when we catch someone else in a sin. We’ve all read of the Pharisees who caught a woman in the act of adultery (obviously and discriminatorily letting the man go!) and demanded she be publicly shamed, which Jesus refused to do. The Pharisees were right in thinking adultery is wrong; they were wrong in that they were acting in a mean instead of a redemptive way. This mob mentality currently has the Internet on its side, so public shaming can now be national and even international.”

 

So, you might be asking, “Will we learn? What can we do about this? How can we raise the bar for ourselves AND for our children who are observing every move we make?” Those of us who call ourselves Christians, how can we all quit being so mean? (You realize we are all selectively mean… since we all have the choice to be kind or mean. Why not choose to be kind? Every time?)

 

You might say, “Well she just makes me so mad. I want her to feel as bad as I do so I lash out in anger.” Is that what a 30+ person reacts or a 1st grader? Or you might say, “Our national leaders have no problem being mean, especially in an election. No wonder our nation is mean. It’s everywhere.” This is an excuse and turns us into victims. Just because someone in leadership is being mean, does not give you permission to follow suit. In fact, as a Christian, we are to be held to a higher standard. YOU be the leader and respond kindly…. THAT is leadership.

 

Wisdom HAS to help us respond differently. Right? No one can MAKE you mad. They might say something that isn’t nice but why react with hate and meanness? The cycle just won’t stop, if you do. If you respond with kindness, won’t they soften? They likely will! If you’re mean to them, they’ll, in turn, be mean back. (Didn’t we all learn this in kindergarten? Didn’t we teach this to our children?) Did your grandma ever teach you to “Kill them with kindness?” We need to realize, if they speak hateful words, it’s because they hate themselves. If they’re jealous of you, it’s because they’re filled with jealousy that you have something they don’t have (a spouse/GF/BF, job, money, privileges, etc). If they hurt you, it’s because they’re hurt inside themselves. If they respond with love, it’s because they love themselves. Be the example of LOVE! Respond with LOVE! (No, this is not always easier; although it CAN be if you do it over and over again).

 

Well, we all know we can’t change everyone else but we CAN change our own reactions and ways of behaving. Through those reactions, people will see the RIGHT way to be and perhaps react the same way. They will see Jesus in you and inadvertently, also be like Jesus, whether they know it or not. It will just feel like the correct way to respond.

So here are some examples you can try:

  • “Did you hear ____ about Josie? She thinks she’s so _____. She always _____.” Your response: I did not hear that and I don’t want to make a judgment until I talk to Josie myself to confirm that is even true. OR “I did not hear that and I don’t think we should talk about her without her here to defend herself.” OR “Did you talk to Josie about this or did you just hear it from someone else?” Even if you think you SAW a certain behavior, it’s still a good idea to ask before making a judgment.
  • On a heated political post on Facebook, you click like and make a strong comment bashing the opposing side. Instead, your response could be…. No ‘like’ button with no comment. Why? Well, your opinion isn’t going to change the other side. Just like they can’t change your mind about your side. Instead say, “We both have our strong political views… we likely should just hope and pray for the best solutions for all Americans.” OR “We disagree politically and this is likely a better in person conversation.”
  • “Did you hear that Helen is pregnant? She’s only 18 and her father is even a preacher! I bet they are freaking out!” A better response… “I did not know. I think I’ll reach out to her and see if there is anything I can do to help support her upcoming challenge. Sounds like she’s going to need lots of support.”

I know you get the idea… it’s easy to read these and even agree with them, but when it comes to actually doing these, actually saying the right thing, it’s harder than it seems. But once you do it, each time will get easier AND maybe other “Christian’s” will get to see a better example of how a “Christian” is to respond.

So, how will you proceed? How will you spread more love and cut down the mean? Comment below if you have more good ideas from which we can all benefit! I’m going to get better at holding my tongue and be ‘aware’ when I’m entering into a conversation that sounds like gossip. My response if my responsibility!

 

25 Things We Need to Do/Think About After Turning 50    by: Elizabeth Lewis

25 Things We Need to Do/Think About After Turning 50 by: Elizabeth Lewis

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25 Things We Need to Do/Think About After Turning 50

by: Elizabeth Lewis

Life Coach/Relationship Coach/Author/Speaker

 

After turning 50, many start reflecting on their lives. Looking from where they came (all the mistakes, lessons, successes) and knowing that we now have less time to live than we’ve already lived. I thought I’d share some ideas I’ve thought about (some of these would apply to any age but even a better reflection on the 2nd half of life).

 

  1. If you stopped learning today, who would you want to be more like the rest of your life?
  2. Are you living “on purpose?” If not, it’s not too late. Examine your daily activities and see how many hours are on purpose. If you have too many things on your plate, maybe hire a life coach to help guide you through this process.
  3. Be thinking about your “encore” career—the “for fun” job you want to do in retirement. Start brainstorming ideas of what that might be.
  4. Let go of things that don’t “connect” to your life purpose? (Are you living your life purpose). Life purpose is different than living on purpose. Living on purpose is making your hours matter during the day ensuring you’re doing the things that are important to you. Living your life purpose is doing what you know God put you on Earth to do.
  5. Keep reading and learning! Fill your brain with new information and positive ways of thinking.
  6. Stop looking for ways to be offended. Let people be who they are and you be who you are. It’s no reflection on you.
  7. Think a little (or a lot) less about yourself and more about others.
  8. Bring kindness back and be the example of how to be kind always. None of us is perfect but to be a little more like Jesus every day is a good idea. Wayne Dyer said, “Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness. Even more amazing is that persons observing the act of kindness have similar beneficial results. Imagine this! Kindness extended, received or observed beneficially impacts the health and feelings of everyone involved! “
  9. If someone doesn’t like you, this has NOTHING to do with you. As long as you are doing your best to stay aligned with your Source and what you know if good and right for you, that’s what you have control.
  10. Make goals yearly—hit as many as you can—live intentionally.
  11. Comparison (at any age) kills contentment. Stop comparing!
  12. Take the lessons learned from past mistakes—wrap words around shame (if you’re feeling shame) and today is a new day to be a better YOU! Seriously, whatever you put in your brain WILL be what will happen to you. Whether you’re aware of it or not. So be aware what you’re feeding it. Feed it with goodness and positivity. If negativity creeps in, flip the switch and turn it into a positive. Is it easy to do? Yes. Is it easy not to do? Yes. Which will you choose?
  13. Keep engaging in REAL life. Step away from social media/computer and keep engaging with others. Life experiences and laughter cures a lot of ailments.
  14. Who was your mentor when you were 20, 30, 40? Now, who can YOU mentor and pour your wisdom into?
  15. With now adult children, how can you/we be the best supporter? We can still be a good example to them as we live our lives, but we no longer have control of theirs. Remain curious—still walk beside them and you can still be a safe place to fall (when they fall). They will fall because we all fall. Love them through it (instead of lecturing them through it).
  16. Health—we DO all know we’re going to die, right? Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in 50 years. I think we sometimes forget this because we’re shocked when someone dies. But we don’t always think about how every morsel of food and every drop of liquid we put in our bodies matters. “But it’s a special occasion?!” There always seems to be a “special” occasion to eat (or drink) poorly. Heck…. Every day is a special occasion because we are still here! Hard to do? Yes. Easy to do? Yes. Make a slight change.
  17. Speaking of dying…. Since we all know that none of us get out of here alive, most know to keep up with doctor checkups, annual exams, etc. But it’s a good idea to remind/encourage this. Some live in fear of the unknown and they’d rather not know there is cancer or something looming around in their bodies… but there are just too many medical advancements out there to be afraid… SO much can be done. I know sometimes nothing can be done. A blood clot, aneurysm, sudden wrecks, etc…. but we can all do our part of doing the preventative care we know to do. The older we get, the more we need to stay on top of this. Get an accountability partner?
  18. How much intentional quiet time do you allow yourself? Intentional SILENCE? I’m not talking about when you’re in the shower or driving alone (although if that’s all you can allow that’s better than nothing). You can’t know the meaning of your life until you are connected to the power that created you. Another Dyer thought (who is a big proponent of meditation). “Meditation is the only way you can grow. There is no other way out. Because when you meditate, you are in silence. You are in thoughtless awareness. Then the growth of awareness takes place.” (This is one thing I need to start doing more).
  19. Judgment…. have we not learned by now that judgment is not a good thing? It lowers our spirit/energy and many times reflects who WE are on the inside. Be unattached to all who come into your life by not demanding that they stay, go, or appear, at your whim. Let other people be who they are. You be who you are. No need to judge them as right or wrong.
  20. I’ve written/spoken about this one before. We are the average of the 5 people we are around the most. Who do you spend the most time with? If you want to be a better you, make sure some of those people are those you’d like to be more like. Tai Lopez talks about the law of 33%, which states that you should spend;

1/3 of your time with people below your level (the ones you mentor)

1/3 of your time with people on your level (close friends)

1/3 of your time with people above your level (mentors)

Maybe make a list of these people in your life and see how you’re doing with this.

  1. Look for ways to add value to others…. EVERY DAY! How will you remember to do this? I put a reminder on my phone at 9:00 a.m. that says, “How will you add value today?” AND at the end of the day at 9:00 p.m. that says, “How did you add value today?” This alone makes me REMEMBER to be thinking about how I can add value to others every day!
  2. If you have 5-7 speakers speak at your funeral (someone from every facet of your life), what would you want them to say about you? Start doing THOSE things (or get back to those things that you know are truest about you).
  3. If you’re still in debt…. Get out of debt- if you’re out of debt, manage your resources well. No matter how much money we have, we are still to be good stewards of it. Don’t overspend. Live within (or below) your means. Don’t forget to give a portion away (a tithe, a charitable donation, etc).
  4. Whatever you are giving away— IS what you’re getting back. Any thought of depreciation you have weakened yourself in some form…. lowered your energy. If you can figure out a way to change this thought to appreciation you will raise your energy. When you can do that, you’re making more conscious contact w God. Then you can access it more readily.
  5. If you still have GOD questions, it’s never too late to explore this a little more. Maybe you had a bad church experience? All churches are not bad. (Most are filled with sinners and broken people who just want to be better). Maybe you had a life event knock you down and you couldn’t see or feel God? (So you started doubting). Maybe you were not raised in the church and you just never explored beyond that in adulthood? Maybe it’s overwhelming and too vast to comprehend (I can see why one might feel that way). Wherever you are… there are SO many people that you can talk to to explore this. You WILL die and your soul WILL go somewhere. If you don’t know where it’ll go, worth talking to someone about it? (My opinion, of course).

 

If you’d like to explore any of these thoughts any further, I’d be happy to be your life coach. I give a 15 min. free consultation to see if we’d be a good fit for each other. You can learn more at http://www.loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com

Society’s Bad Advice About Dating

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Society’s Bad Advice About Dating

by: Elizabeth Lewis

Life Coach/Relationship Coach/Author/Speaker

Book Title: First Date Next Mate: Perspectives in Dating the “Next” Time Around

 

Society gives us terrible advice about dating.

“It’s time to get out there! Start going on some dates!”

“Man, you’re dating a lot. Slow down!”

“It’ll happen when you quit looking.”

“Oh, my. He’s never been married? Hmmmm.”      **furrowed eyebrow**

 

Singles are dating with the pool of options they have in their area, at the time, in which they’re single. Yes, the world is our oyster but unless you have the time and money to travel the world meeting new people and/or don’t care how far you are from family/work/church, etc, you have only as far as you’re willing to go. Granted, some need to open that range of options but singles (especially single parents) still have boundaries and responsibilities of their current reality. The pool they have is the pool they’re in. If you’re single, are you out there swimming… or at least floating? (If you’re drowning… contact me!)

Everyone that is looking for a life partner (and not everyone is) needs to be engaging in all sorts of activities where singles might be—a single’s party, speed dating, dating online, church functions, saying yes to a variety of social activities/invitations (more examples in my book).

Society wants you to meet the old-fashioned way like bumping into someone in the grocery store or pure dumb luck. Singles would actually like that, too, but if it’s not happening, singles need to get better at educating society with what it’s like out there and the options available to us. You’ll probably hear loads of negative comments about dating whether off or online… but there is way more good than bad (if your mind sees things with the right perspective). We need to let go of limiting beliefs (mostly the limits we put in our brain ourselves or by listening to society) and remain open to what will happen. God gives us good men and women every day. We have the free will to choose them or not.

Why does society put pressure on the timeline for being single?

  • 37 and not married yet? Oh, that’s bad/sad for her.
  • Divorced for 15 years now? Something must be wrong with him/her!
  • Widowed and hasn’t remarried after 10+ years. Oh, he/she must be looking for someone like their deceased spouse (like that could happen).
  • He just got divorced a month ago and he’s already in a serious relationship!

Singles…. listen…. There is NOTHING wrong with you! Maybe there IS something wrong with all the negative things rumbling around in your head but you’ve put those thoughts there. They are not the truth. You “believe” those thoughts as truth and are looking for evidence of that truth (and those things are not even true)! You are a naturally creative, resourceful and whole human being that is learning different perspectives in dating. There is NO rule that says if you’re not married (or remarried) by (fill in length of time) you’re broken goods, unworthy, high maintenance, too old/fat/dumb/tall, etc or something surely must be wrong with you. The timeline is not the same for everyone because each has his/her own things to work through in his/her own time. The important thing is that you’re doing “the work.”

Society—there is nothing wrong with singles… each is figuring out his/her own needs and because dating is 90% timing… it’s just a different world out there (especially for “next” time arounders) and there is a lot to learn about it. The learning is in the dating. Everyone is worthy of love. So withhold judgment and build up your single friends. Include them in activities. Introduce them to YOUR other single friends. They’ll likely just be friends but through friends, they’ll meet new friends and have an engaging life!

 

So singles…stop listening to “Hurry up! Slow down! Take your time! Stop looking! Get online! Get offline already!” Wayne Dyer says all delays are beneficial. Keep an open heart attached to nothing and yes you WILL meet your forever partner at the right time and don’t listen to everyone else’s judgment of “Why are you still single?” Learn ways to be happy with YOU first and foremost. The rest will happen when it’s supposed to.

I am a Life Coach and work with a variety of people (ages 19-80). Many of my clients are single and I offer a Life, Love and Dating class (that meets every other Tuesday in Louisville, KY) If you’d like to join us, contact me on Facebook (Elizabeth Baughman Lewis). I also do one-on-one coaching with anyone (in the US). Single or not. I can coach you over the phone, Facetime, Skype, etc. Go to my website to learn more!

www.loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com

(I’ve also started a marriage/couples enrichment class for those of you dating or married!) Something for everyone!

Love is on the way to find you. BELIEVE it to be true!

Do YOU Want/Need a Life Coach?

fullsizeoutput_417Do YOU Want/Need a Life Coach?

By: Elizabeth Lewis: Life Coach/Relationship Coach/Author/Speaker

http://www.loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com

 

I get asked all the time, “Exactly what do you do with your clients?” or “Why do people hire you?” So, I decided to write a blog about this. The reasons for coaching are as different as my clients, but the common theme is that people want to move forward in some way in life or relationships. They are already successful/whole people but they want more joy, less stress, more fulfillment, more accountability, want to get more organized and/or help improving or to enhance relationships (dating, a romance, a family member, friends, etc). Some people just like learning new and different ways of thinking so getting a coach enhances their way of growing and BEing.  As you move along in life, a great way to find out if you could benefit from working with me (or any Life Coach), is to take this quiz.

Answer yes or no to as many as pertain to where you are right now.

  1. Do you want more balance with work and home life?
  2. Do you need to think (and speak) more positively about yourself? About others? About life, in general?
  3. Would you like to move forward in a relationship?
    1. If you’re newly divorced, how to get whole first and know you’re ready before you navigate the dating world.
    2. If you’re dating, how to think about different perspectives in dating (especially if you’re dating the “next” time around). How to date off and online.
    3. If you’re in a relationship, how to keep moving forward.
    4. If you’re married, how to keep things positive and enriched?
  4. Do you need to be a more “On Purpose” Person throughout your day?
  5. Do you need to reorganize priorities after a big life event? (After retirement, empty nester, divorce, remarriage, etc.)
  6. Do you need to get more organized, de-clutter, find ways to get more energy?
  7. Do you need to strengthen your self-esteem, self-confidence or self-worth?
  8. Do you need more joy or happiness in your daily living?
  9. Do you need someone to keep you accountable with your goals and dreams? (With a little cheerleading to keep you pumped up!?)
  10. Would you like to be better at living in the present moment (and not in the past or future?)
  11. Would you like to improve your energy level, overall health and wellness through diet and exercise?
  12. Would you like to improve time management/ money management?
  13. Would you like to improve with parenting?
  14. Would you like a more spiritual life?
  15. Would you like to discover your passion and purpose?

 

If you answered YES to at least 3 of these, you could benefit GREATLY from hiring a life coach. If you choose me as your coach, I give a 15-min. free consultation to see if we’re a good fit for each other. If we are not, I have other life coaches to which I’d be happy to refer.

 

If you don’t live near me, no worries. I also coach over the phone, Skype or Facetime. You can still have a GREAT coaching experience over the phone.

 

I can coach anyone wanting to move forward in life; any age or stage in life. (I believe everyone needs a therapist and life coach. To learn the differences in the two, read to the end). My niche’ is working with people in any type of relationship. I LOVE my one-on-one clients because we can dive deep with events/thinking that pertains to THEM….

 

If you’d rather have a group experience, here are a few things I offer that you might want to take part….

 

  • I host a Life, Love and Dating class. This is for any category of singleness (meaning not married; whether you’re in or out of a relationship). We meet every other week (Tues.—summers and holidays off). 85% of the time we discuss dating perspectives/issues. The other 15% we talk about different life issues. This is organized 100% on Facebook. $5.00 per class.
  • I’m starting (Aug. 22) a class for couples (the group is called Connecting Couples). This is for married and engaged couples, as well as those in committed, serious relationship moving forward. Our 1st study will be Love and Respect and have that I have MANY other studies we’ll do. This is also organized on Facebook so let me know if you’d like me to add you. $5.00 per person per class.
  • SYMBIS Assessment– This is for engaged couples. A survey is administered individually to each person and I will unpack a 15-page report with the couple together. It’s excellent and worth the investment and discussion of each topic.

 

NEW: If you’re part of a SMALL business (<40 employees) and you’d like to provide coaching for your employees, email me and I’ll send you a proposal. I will throw in ONE FREE speaking engagement to the GROUP if you purchase coaching for your employees and mention this blog.

What are the general differences between therapy and coaching? I’m glad you asked. See if you now understand the difference?

Therapy-

  • Assumes the client needs healing.
  • Roots in medicine, psychiatry.
  • Works with people to achieve self-understanding and emotional healing.
  • Focuses on feelings and past events.
  • Explores the roots of problems.
  • Works to bring unconscious into conscious.
  • Works for internal resolution of pain to let go of old patterns.

 

Coaching:

  • Assumes the client is whole.
  • Roots in sports, work, family, business and personal growth venues.
  • Works to move people to a higher level of functioning/thinking.
  • Focuses on actions and the future.
  • Focuses on solving problems.
  • Works with the conscious mind.
  • Works for external solutions to overcome barriers, learn new skills and ways of thinking and implements effective choices.

 

So, there you have it. Lots to process and you can decide if it’s worth investing in yourself to hire a coach. All my clients have had positive experiences/outcomes. I LOVE my clients and classes.

 

To find out more, go to http://www.loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com

From my website, you can email, find me on social media!

I love meeting new clients. Even if you’re still not sure, give me a call and we can discuss? If you know of someone else looking for a life coach/relationship coach, feel free to pass this along to them.

Psalm 37:4-14 NIV

4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.

11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.

12The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them;

13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright.