The Law of Happiness by Dr. Henry Cloud

This excerpt is from The Law of Happiness by Dr. Henry Cloud. I just read this today and wanted to share. I find this to be true. How many can you say are true about yourself? “Happy people are active, not passive, in their pursuit of life. If you look at some of the activities that research has proven produces happiness, you’ll see that it takes effort and investment. For example, happy people invest their time:

* Building deep relationships and community: they belong to support groups, participate in Bible studies, or have structured times of getting together with friends and family and nurturing those relationships.

* Being involved in growth activities: they see a coach or a counselor or attend some kind of growth group.

* Pursuing goals: they have physical, financial, vocational, avocational, or other goals they’re working toward.

* Serving others: they have found meaningful ways to give of their time and talents.

* Nurturing a spiritual life: they devote time to spiritual activities, such as prayer, medication, Bible study, retreats, and so forth.

* Exercising and staying healthy: they have some sort of routine that they follow to stay active and pursue a healthy lifestyle.

* Practicing gratitude: they regularly express gratitude to God and others.

* Pursuing activities they love: they find their passions and pursue them

* Stretching themselves: they look for activities and goals that push them to be all they can be.

* Resolving pain and conflicts: whether in relationships or in their own souls, happy people do not avoid problems but do what is necessary to heal them.”

There are 2 ways people will react after hearing this…. the 1st will get up and get moving. He/she will join a support group, Weight Watchers, sign up for a class, etc The 2nd type will read this, find resonance with it, want to pursue change…. but will probably not do anything at all. Is there hope for them? YES! These are the ones who just need a little push. They need energy and structure. Not everyone can self motivate. I suggest you maybe try getting a life coach or accountability partner or therapist so you can keep moving. If a life coach is what you desire…. contact me and we’ll get you moving in the right direction. I believe all my clients are naturally creative, resourceful and whole. You may just need a little push. If therapy is what you desire, contact me and I can put you in touch with some good therapists.

Elizabeth Lewis

Love and Laughter Life Coaching, LLC (Helping Happiness Happen….. One Step at a Time)


Remain Curious

Remain Curious

As a dating consultant, many times my friends and clients will ask questions like, “Why am I still single?” “Why don’t men (women) seem to like me?” “Why can’t I get a date for Friday night?” When they ask these types of “why” questions, there is needless shame implied and these questions lead to nowhere! Instead ask more thought provoking questions like, “What am I learning about being single?” “What is it about men/women that I like/don’t like?” “What parts of me do I need to work on to make ME a better future mate?” And as Andy Stanley says, “Am I who the person I’m looking for is looking for?”

We don’t always like these types of questions because we might discover some truths we won’t like or are unwilling to fix. In our fast pace/ fast food culture, we want quick solutions. However, growing ourselves is not an event, but rather a process. (For some of us, a longer process than we’d like). No way will we master perfection, but we CAN become less angry and skeptical, attain more understanding, learn to love ourselves and overall make steady improvements. We need to remain curious as a way of being, rather than always feeling the need to fix what we think is so wrong with us. When we are curious, we have a sense of wonder…. we can constantly reflect and learn.

There are things in life that we know and things we don’t know. When we seek to know all of the answers, our life then becomes limited by that which we already know. When we seek to ask deep, relevant questions, our lives are only limited to the extent of our courage and willingness to learn and to try something new.

Author, Katherine Woodward Thomas, asked her client, “What is the most important thing you learned in our work together that opened the way for love to come into your life?” He said, “I learned to be comfortable with being uncomfortable—that it’s OK to be in unfamiliar territory where you don’t know who you are or what you are supposed to be doing. Because that’s where the possibility of love is.”

“We cannot solve the world’s problems at the same level at which they were created.” Albert Einstein

Blog inspired by Calling in “The One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Valentine’s Day!

By: Elizabeth Lewis pexels-photo-832761.jpeg

January is over and February is already here. Winter weather remains but Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. For some (in relationship) it can be a fun time to celebrate romance and love. For singles who are not in relationship, it is “Singles Awareness Day.” So here are some ideas for you to do if you’re IN or OUT of relationship (2 different lists).

If you’re in relationship:

  • First—make Valentine’s Day last all month! Not just one night! Be thankful for your partner.
  • Focus more on your partner’s needs.
  • If you already don’t know your partner’s love language, discover it and flaunt them with it (The 5 Love Languages can be Googled and there are tests you can take to see what your primary love language is). This is also a great book by Gary Chapman. This is good to know and flaunt 365 days a year.
  • Renew your dreams (personally, professionally) Talk about the roadblocks?
  • Write sweet notes and scatter them around the house. (Chocolate kisses, too!)
  • Eat by candlelight every Sat. night.
  • Pray out loud together all month (if you already don’t do so) OUT LOUD is the key here. You WILL become closer.
  • 30-second kisses every day!
  • Give each other a hot oil massage (2 separate nights). Have it be an “All About YOU” night
  • Write down 100 reasons you love your spouse/ lover and share a few each day in February.

If you’re not currently in relationship:

  • Work on you—focus more positive energy into who you are and who you want to be. (Hire a life coach- I know a few)!
  • Write down something every day for which you’re grateful. Continually live in a state of gratitude!
  • Treat yourself to a massage, new bottle or perfume or new dress.
  • Gather with other single friends for dinner, drinks and/or dancing.
  • Fall in love with something new (Yoga? Running? Dancing? Cooking?)
  • Send sweet notes to someone else
    • Practice random acts of kindness
    • Make homemade valentines
  • Write down your love goals (You want to take a dating break, start dating this month, try online dating, visualize what your future partner will be like, make a vision board, etc).
  • Exercise longer than normal to feel extra good!
  • Embrace your singleness….. Think about all the money you’re saving. How you’re not settling. You have more free time. You’re more productive in your day).

If all else fails………….. eat chocolate and drink wine. Seems to always be a good cure for anything.

Love is our true destiny. We don’t find the meaning of life by ourselves alone- we find it with another. By: Thomas Merton

They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. By:  Bil Keane